By Rich IwasZko, Director of Golf, Pocasset Golf Club
Illustrations by Jeff Camish
Don’t be a Herman Munster! As many new golfers arrive on the scene – and I am talking adults – their etiquette and care of the golf course is atrocious. They must believe that the golf course is like a hotel room and the maid will straighten and clean it when they are done. I am here to tell you it isn’t and that you can be disqualified for that behavior.
“The game relies on the integrity of the individual to show consideration for others and to abide by the Rules. This is the spirit of the game of golf.” As quoted by the USGA this includes care of the golf course. Our first area of care is the bunker. When the elephant enters the bunker and hits twice to get out, “he needs to carefully fill up and smooth over all holes and footprints made by them and any nearby made by others.”
The idea is to leave the bunker pure for the next player; it is your responsibility. I like the wording any nearby made by others – it’s the right thing to do.
If you thought the moon had craters, look at the putting greens on the golf course at midday. Even Dave Pelz’s robot “Perfy” couldn’t make a 3-footer. Yes, your ball makes an indent in the green when it comes down out of the air, even if the ball rolled off the back edge, duh! “Players should carefully repair any divot holes made by them and any damage to the putting green made by the impact of the ball whether or not made by the player himself.” I will interpret. Anytime you walk onto a green fix your ball mark and at least one other. It will take 12 hours for the grass in that ball mark area to die. You killed it. Don’t blame the superintendent. This may require you to bend over so please be fit.
“Players should avoid causing damage to the course by removing divots when taking practice swings or by hitting the head of the club into the ground, whether in anger or for any other reason.” You have seen these guys whose clubs become front end loaders on the fairway. They don’t even check the divots for worm colonies. They are so intent on the next shot they just leave piles behind them. Glad this isn’t the elephant! Over the course of a round they probably could have packaged and sold their divots as a house lot on Cape Cod. Replace your divots. If seed mix is provided fill the hole with seed mix. Just don’t do nothing! I won’t even tell you the disgust I hold for golfers who take a divot on a practice swing. Temper, Rich.
“In order to avoid damaging the hole, players and caddies should not stand too close to the hole and should take care during the handling of the flagstick and the removal of a ball from the hole. The head of the club should not be used to remove a ball from the hole.” I too think the hole is very important. It is the end goal of every golf ball. Why people insist on sticking their putter into the hole and twisting and turning it around to yank the ball out is beyond me. Probably the same ones who are not fit enough to bend over. Drop a dollar on the ground and you will see them come to life. You will damage the hole, duh! Golf manufacturers do make suction cups for the end of putters and now a putter grip which includes a suction cup can be put on putters for men and women. The goal is to protect the hole.
The lumpy donut, a Pelz favorite, is made lumpier by golfers standing around the hole discussing what just occurred. Or better yet, stabbing the green with the flagstick when trying to put it in the hole or worse yet, stepping on the hole as you walk by it. This is what led to the line “Kill all the golfers” in Caddyshack. This truly shows a blatant disregard for the golf course and others. “If a player consistently disregards these guidelines during a round or over a period of time to the detriment of others, it is recommended that the Committee consider taking appropriate disciplinary action against the offending player.” These actions could include hanging, flogging, dismemberment, or allowing the greenskeeping crew 15 minutes with them in any out-of-bounds area. They can also be suspended from playing, and for a serious breach, be disqualified. I have a small problem with this. I believe the players playing with this person should be disqualified. Once a golfer disregards any of these etiquette issues, all play should stop and the offending player should be informed by the other players that his behavior will not be tolerated. Please don’t come in and cry to the pro. You are there, deal with it, let the pro deal with him crying. Just because I didn’t say her, doesn’t mean this is not for ladies as well. It is for all golfers.
The pace of play at golf courses would improve if they were shortened to 16 holes! As a golfer you need to play at a good pace. Golf courses establish this pace and hopefully advertise it somewhere. “It is your responsibility to keep up with the group in front.” Strange how a group starts 8 minutes ahead of me and after 5 holes they are 20 minutes ahead of me. Hmmm, they must be too fast! Pick up the pace! Don’t lose sight of the group ahead. (They should never be more than 1 hole ahead.) This too affects all other golfers on the course. I always liked the signs at golf courses instructing players to pick up after 8 shots. It makes a lot of sense. If you are playing at a time of the day that is quicker than you are, learn to pick up after 8. Just so everyone isn’t out there till after 8.
Now back to Herman Munster. It seems Herman took his son Eddie out to play golf. Herman with his thick shoes and heavy feet would leave 2-inch imprints when walking on the greens. When hitting out of the bunker he covered Eddie in a pile of sand while he was tending the flagstick. While taking practice swings he ripped 2-foot divots out of the ground, at least 2 per shot. And in disgust he would bury the head of his club in the fairway or green wherever he happened to be. They played at 5 a.m. No one saw them and they didn’t know about proper etiquette or ever read this article. The next morning the town newspaper read, “VANDALS DO TREMENDOUS DAMAGE TO LOCAL GOLF CLUB.” As Herman puts the paper down he says, “Gee Eddie, we must have just missed seeing them!” Please keep an eye out for Herman and don’t just miss him, you may get disqualified!
“The game relies on the integrity of the individual to show consideration for others and to abide by the Rules. This is the spirit of the game of golf.” As quoted by the USGA this includes care of the golf course. Our first area of care is the bunker. When the elephant enters the bunker and hits twice to get out, “he needs to carefully fill up and smooth over all holes and footprints made by them and any nearby made by others.”
“Players should avoid causing damage to the course by removing divots when taking practice swings or by hitting the head of the club into the ground, whether in anger or for any other reason.” You have seen these guys whose clubs become front end loaders on the fairway. They don’t even check the divots for worm colonies. They are so intent on the next shot they just leave piles behind them. Glad this isn’t the elephant! Over the course of a round they probably could have packaged and sold their divots as a house lot on Cape Cod. Replace your divots. If seed mix is provided fill the hole with seed mix. Just don’t do nothing! I won’t even tell you the disgust I hold for golfers who take a divot on a practice swing. Temper, Rich.
The pace of play at golf courses would improve if they were shortened to 16 holes! As a golfer you need to play at a good pace. Golf courses establish this pace and hopefully advertise it somewhere. “It is your responsibility to keep up with the group in front.” Strange how a group starts 8 minutes ahead of me and after 5 holes they are 20 minutes ahead of me. Hmmm, they must be too fast! Pick up the pace! Don’t lose sight of the group ahead. (They should never be more than 1 hole ahead.) This too affects all other golfers on the course. I always liked the signs at golf courses instructing players to pick up after 8 shots. It makes a lot of sense. If you are playing at a time of the day that is quicker than you are, learn to pick up after 8. Just so everyone isn’t out there till after 8.
Now back to Herman Munster. It seems Herman took his son Eddie out to play golf. Herman with his thick shoes and heavy feet would leave 2-inch imprints when walking on the greens. When hitting out of the bunker he covered Eddie in a pile of sand while he was tending the flagstick. While taking practice swings he ripped 2-foot divots out of the ground, at least 2 per shot. And in disgust he would bury the head of his club in the fairway or green wherever he happened to be. They played at 5 a.m. No one saw them and they didn’t know about proper etiquette or ever read this article. The next morning the town newspaper read, “VANDALS DO TREMENDOUS DAMAGE TO LOCAL GOLF CLUB.” As Herman puts the paper down he says, “Gee Eddie, we must have just missed seeing them!” Please keep an eye out for Herman and don’t just miss him, you may get disqualified!